Transparent

Over the holidays we typically spend more time with family, focusing on the good of the past 365 days, reminiscing about Christmases of past. In 2008 I spent time with my new blogging friends and I was given the opportunity to share life with people all over the world who I probably would never have come in contact with this side of heaven. I read of growing families, daily life, difficult pregnancies, heart-wrenching losses, miracles of life. What an adventure!

Recently I have had trouble falling asleep and have used that time to think about my day - what I've done, seen and read. As I thought about each blog I subscribe to and those that have made a lasting impact on my life I questioned "why?". What is it about some of these friends stories that moves me from my foundation? One word: transparency. These saints hold nothing back. They allow me to take a full look into their lives (some on a daily basis). I am not a window shopper gazing at merchandise from outside. I am a full paying customer. I am given the chance to browse through their laughter and pain, joy and tears and pull from it whatever I choose. They place every emotion out on a page for all to see. But this kind of transparency comes at a cost...a very high cost. In order for them to be transparent to the world, they first have to be transparent to the One who created them. They have to allow Him to come in, set up shop and clean house. And by being completely vulnerable to Him, He is able to use them for His glory and touch millions of peoples lives with their tiny hands.

So for 2009 I will have the usual resolutions: eat less, spend more time with the kids, get more sleep. But for 2009 I will commit to being more transparent. This blog has been, and will continue to be, a documentation of our life as a family. But from today forward it will be seen through different eyes. I want the world to see me as I am...an imperfect child of God trying to focus more on Him and less on me. I want to sit for longer periods of time at His feet and listen.

From a blog I joyfully subscribe to (light your world):

Jesus told His disciples in John 15 that they could do nothing without Him. He told them to abide in Him and then watch what He would accomplish thru them. He told them to abide in His love and keep His commandments, just as they had watched Him keep His Father's commandments and just like He had abided in His Father's love. And He told them to do these things so that His joy would be in them. [emphasis mine]